Frustrated Rant -- You've Been Warned!!

I had hopes of posting a cheer-ier (cheery-er?) post about optimism... however...

Lately, I have been feeling pretty frustrated at work- mainly due to a great deal of difficulty with a fellow teacher(s). At night, I have had difficulty finding optimism in my train of thoughts. I also have been having difficulty with "letting go" of these particular issue which has been eating at me for two nights now. I know I am doing all that I can to document my actions (and theirs), and protect myself, as well as to let my supervisors know of the issue(s) at hand. The part that "bothers me" the most is that the kids will yet again pay the price for someone elses' incompetencies. Yet I will continue to push for what is right- the laws of special education are on my side. I just wish (so badly) that it didn't affect me inside so much; to where I'm laying here and unable to sleep for the inability to "turn it off." I know that part of this is my "personal level of expectation"- and I work very hard at this. At being forgiving of myself, as well as striving to do the very best job that I can do. I want to be an advocate for my students, their families, teachers, as well as teach all of these parties to advocate for THEMSELVES. Especially the students. It is harder to help the teachers-- esecially when they aren't willing to allow me. Especially when they refuse to allow me to support my kids despite their legal right to accommodations and modifications. It is so wrong, on so many levels. I have yet to be amazed at how many regular educators that I've worked with, that have this fabled notion-- that their classrooms should be "perfect" with no Special Ed students. That all of the SpEd kids should be in self-contained or Resource environments. Um- no- not realistic, in any way, shape, or form. There are so many students with IEPs who ARE capable and WILLING to try their hardest at regular education coursework. Sometimes they need a little bit of extra support, even some as simple as having a test read aloud to them vs. reading it silently. Some kids need to have more supervision or repetition of directions. All kids can learn- and are legally entitled to a place which doesn't restrict their learning environment. This really eats at me inside, because I know it is wrong when a teacher becomes confrontational about allowing me to provide these supports. It all becomes a frustrated mess of terminology & emotions from here on out. Never a good combination!!

Argh.

Special Education-- and ANY education is difficult enough. Why turn down assistance that is freely given and willingly offered? At no cost other than to see students succeed? Why deny a student (or group of students) the support which is clearly documented and clearly needed? On another, slightly separate note-- why complain endlessly about SpEd bringing down academic achievement scores-- if you do NOTHING to help these kiddos succeed?

How is this fair? Who pays this price? When does this mentality change? When do the walls come down, and the acceptance rise from some depth?

I have been privileged to work with some truly exceptional teachers. Many of them have not- and I believe, never will- be this difficult. Yet, I still don't understand why I see this negative treatment towards SpEd kids so often in my job- I truly don't.

Aren't we supposed to be here for THE KIDS?

End rant.

Tomorrow is another day. I am growing professional confidence and "spine" with each of these said difficulties... Just wish I could take a magical pill and get the same results. It'd sure be a lot easier!! Maybe I'd even get more sleep. Ha!

Although..... Some days, it feels as if it should be -- and I'm totally kidding:

:)