Sick Day - Long-Anticipated Day - Open-Heart Day

Yesterday, I left work two hours early because I could feel my ears plugging up painfully. My cough also has been increasing. I went ahead and requested a substitute and called off today, as well. I normally plow forth and endure at work, even while sick, because explaining what someone would need to know to "do my job" even for just one day- often takes more time than is worth. Ugh. I called in sick because I also have needed a personal day to rest and get away from the negativity at school. (Read my last post.) I don't enjoy being sick in the least little bit, but I DO enjoy watching the daylight change with the hours as it streams through my forest-view bedroom window. The two dogs, also, are loving that I am here. Their interpretation is, "pet me all day long!" Both are sleeping at the base of my bed right now. Sweet girls.

It's been good to "be home," in the sense of enjoying time to relax, watch a movie (or 3), play on Facebook, and select a new-more-autumn-ish background for my blog. (This background actually has the title of "Lovin' Lindsey." I like its cheerful simplicity- just what I am craving in my life right now.)

Today also has been a big day for several people I "know" online:

Ebe is pregnant!! I am so happy for her and her family- I know they have wanted this for soooo long. It's been such a long and difficult road for them. Time for some happiness in their world, absolutely! I hope they find peace and comfort as they brace themselves for this exciting (and scary) adventure!! Congratulations, Ebe!! You ARE a wonderful mama!

Elle is undergoing open heart surgery as I type. So far, one of the two holes in her heart has been repaired. I don't know this family personally, but I am so encouraged by a family placing hearing aids onto a 6 month old little girl who needs them. She's a beautiful little lady, and I enjoy reading their updates and seeing photographs of little Elle wearing her hearing aids.

Dawn just celebrated her birthday. She's a real-life friend of mine from college, and she is a talented, beautiful soul. Her posts radiate her natural optimism and love of life. I wish I could see her on a regular basis, but am happy we have the wonderful world of internet at the very least. I am so proud of her! Happy birthday, dear friend!! I'd sooooo share a cup of coffee and a cupcake with you if I could! (Additional note: My aunt & uncle just accepted a job at Ventana and are moving from Tempe to Tucson in the next couple of months. We're very close to them, and I'm sooo hoping that we continue to go visit them. With that said- maybe we can actually hang out!)

Here is my favorite go-to recipe for when I feel lousy:
Ginger Honey Tea

1 Inch Piece Fresh Ginger, peeled
2 Cups Water

Juice of 1 Lemon
2 Tbsp Honey, or to taste

1. Cut the ginger into disks.

2. Bring the water and ginger to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low and let steep for 5-10 minutes.

3. Remove ginger from water.
4. Add the lemon juice and honey to the water and stir to dissolve honey.
5. Serve the tea in your favorite mug.

I often like to make a big batch (double recipe) and refridgerate the rest. Easy to microwave & heat up for repeats! (Make sure to take the ginger root out before storing, or it will be way too spicy!)

Time for this sick girl to take a hot shower and dig out another box of Kleenex.

There was once a time that I loved to sneeze- it felt like a little bit of laughter inside, like how a "giggle" would feel, that little tickle. Now-- after sneezing so often, and painfully-- not so much!

Frustrated Rant -- You've Been Warned!!

I had hopes of posting a cheer-ier (cheery-er?) post about optimism... however...

Lately, I have been feeling pretty frustrated at work- mainly due to a great deal of difficulty with a fellow teacher(s). At night, I have had difficulty finding optimism in my train of thoughts. I also have been having difficulty with "letting go" of these particular issue which has been eating at me for two nights now. I know I am doing all that I can to document my actions (and theirs), and protect myself, as well as to let my supervisors know of the issue(s) at hand. The part that "bothers me" the most is that the kids will yet again pay the price for someone elses' incompetencies. Yet I will continue to push for what is right- the laws of special education are on my side. I just wish (so badly) that it didn't affect me inside so much; to where I'm laying here and unable to sleep for the inability to "turn it off." I know that part of this is my "personal level of expectation"- and I work very hard at this. At being forgiving of myself, as well as striving to do the very best job that I can do. I want to be an advocate for my students, their families, teachers, as well as teach all of these parties to advocate for THEMSELVES. Especially the students. It is harder to help the teachers-- esecially when they aren't willing to allow me. Especially when they refuse to allow me to support my kids despite their legal right to accommodations and modifications. It is so wrong, on so many levels. I have yet to be amazed at how many regular educators that I've worked with, that have this fabled notion-- that their classrooms should be "perfect" with no Special Ed students. That all of the SpEd kids should be in self-contained or Resource environments. Um- no- not realistic, in any way, shape, or form. There are so many students with IEPs who ARE capable and WILLING to try their hardest at regular education coursework. Sometimes they need a little bit of extra support, even some as simple as having a test read aloud to them vs. reading it silently. Some kids need to have more supervision or repetition of directions. All kids can learn- and are legally entitled to a place which doesn't restrict their learning environment. This really eats at me inside, because I know it is wrong when a teacher becomes confrontational about allowing me to provide these supports. It all becomes a frustrated mess of terminology & emotions from here on out. Never a good combination!!

Argh.

Special Education-- and ANY education is difficult enough. Why turn down assistance that is freely given and willingly offered? At no cost other than to see students succeed? Why deny a student (or group of students) the support which is clearly documented and clearly needed? On another, slightly separate note-- why complain endlessly about SpEd bringing down academic achievement scores-- if you do NOTHING to help these kiddos succeed?

How is this fair? Who pays this price? When does this mentality change? When do the walls come down, and the acceptance rise from some depth?

I have been privileged to work with some truly exceptional teachers. Many of them have not- and I believe, never will- be this difficult. Yet, I still don't understand why I see this negative treatment towards SpEd kids so often in my job- I truly don't.

Aren't we supposed to be here for THE KIDS?

End rant.

Tomorrow is another day. I am growing professional confidence and "spine" with each of these said difficulties... Just wish I could take a magical pill and get the same results. It'd sure be a lot easier!! Maybe I'd even get more sleep. Ha!

Although..... Some days, it feels as if it should be -- and I'm totally kidding:

:)

County Fair with Baby "Sha-wa"

My sister and I were the best of friends when we both were small. She is 28 months younger than I. When I was a toddler and proud of my role as a brand-new big sister, I pronounced her name (Sarah) through the side of my mouth, as "Sha-wa." I would frequently refer to her as "Baby Sha-wa." She had dark, curly hair- such a contrast to my thin, straighter-than-straight blonde hair.

We were the best of playmates- share-ers of Cabbage Patch dolls, CareBears, Crayons and bed-tents. Prime taste-testers for cookie dough and mashed potatoes, lovers of pumpkin-pie... Before we realized the unpleasant effects of having to share a bathroom... Before we were both in high school and became so easily annoyed with the other... Before every difference in our interests & personalities seemed monumental. When it was so easy to argue and get mad. It was easy to nit-pick and find faults--often having them ourselves- of course we could not admit it. Growing up, everyone always thought that she was the older sister. You can imagine how much I truly loved that. (Sarcasm.)

Now that we're adults, leading our own lives, and have found ways to accept our differences & similarities. Also now that we are actually living relatively near-by to another, and in the same town-- we've been able to create opportunities to spend time together. And gasp!! We actually enjoy each other! She's spent several months traveling overseas, living in Washington, and I lived in Goodyear & Sedona. Now we both are in Flagstaff. I'm so glad for this chapter in time that allows us to celebrate both our differences and similarities--together.

I drive past her apartment every day on my way to school. Every Friday, I leave her a "love note" from (her) YBS. I have signed my notes to her this way for years- from: "Your Big Sister." I often stick these notes underneath her windshield wipers. I even keep a box of plastic baggies in my car now that we've been getting rain on a regular basis. I often cut out cartoons or fun quotes or jokes, and glue them to these notes. I love that she knows they are from me, and that I'm saying hello. Even if we may not have had time together for a few weeks...

This weekend, we held fast to a long-time family favorite, attending the County Fair!!

I love the people-watching, the scanning-crowds-for-faces-I-know, the families enjoying their day together, couples hand-in-hand, the junior-high kids who think the fair is the next "big deal" and "coolest date ever"... The lights, the scents, the noises... The fair has always been one of my favorite memories and experiences to, well, experience!

We laughed our heads off playing the 2-ticket (often-rigged) arcade games. Our favorite has always been the squirt-water-into the clowns' mouth water gun race. We rarely ever win, but still enjoy it immensely!

Hearing the laughing kids as they ride high above the crowds.

Seeing the children wave at their families below- feeling soooooo high above the world!

Part of people-watching has always been to observe (laugh) at peoples' expressions as they enjoy the carnival rides:
Riding the Zipper...

Riding the Zipper... Around and around the track while being spun backwards, forwards, upside down, and over & over. It's my carnival favorite ride, and most certainly my biggest adrenaline rush of the day! (What could possibly be scary about flipping around and around, upside down, while inside a tiny metal cage!?) This ride also illustrates another difference in my sister & I. Here is Sarah's uncertain reaction:

Eating the several favorite fried fair foods... Curly fries smothered in liquid cheddar cheese. Kettle corn, roasted corn on the cob, Navajo tacos on fry bread, & caramel apples... Sooo unhealthy & sooo delicous-- it is pointless to try to eat healthy! Eating this way is simply part of "the experience"- fact!! (Once a year, folks!!)

Truly-- This was a wonderful day with one of my most favorite people on the planet, certainly one of those that I love so infinitely much.

I can't help but wonder about the future I'd like to have as a mother someday. I hope that if I end up with 2 children, whether they be girl & girl, or boy & girl-- that they love each other as much as I love MY sister. I consider myself incredibly lucky now-- and would consider myself the luckiest mama in the world should my children appreciate each other.