I'm a 26-year old resident of Arizona... I've lived here my entire life, though my head often floats to Italy through images I find on the Internet. I can't speak the language, but I sure can eat the food! I have been blessed to have travelled to Italy two times (so far!)- once visiting with a friend and once with my younger sister. The reason I post a picture of Italy above is because it is my Happy Place, and where I go in my dreams or when I need a mental escape from a tough situation. I don't know who's going to want to read this, but I put these thoughts into words ultimately for my own Self.
I'm writing this on my last night of summer. I don't actually begin school for a few days still, but my last "mental" night of summer. The time has come for me to redirect my mental thoughts towards being a Teacher again; one with early-bedtimes, healthier eating habits, regular exercise, and a daily routine with more structure. Gone are the hours of being able to lay in a hammock and read...
I woke up this morning, with my head literally consumed with thoughts about school- worries, organization, lessons, co-workers, administration, and on and on. It took me awhile to shake the negativity out and "snap out of it." Negativity has been my constant stalker this summer, following me. While it has been a mostly relaxing summer vacation, I have really been struggling mentally, have been challenged with what thoughts my brain (and heart) become fixated on. I have spent the summer with my parents, in Flagstaff, for this reason--I have really needed their support and company.
I didn't intend for this "first post" to be a negative one, as I'm trying to turn a metaphoric new leaf- but it's my reality. I'm not going to hide what I've thought and felt, what I am thinking and feeling. I'm hoping that a near-daily journal will help. A dear friend suggested the idea to me, and I think that the time has finally come for me to Write it Out.
The highlight of my day today was unexpectedly coming in contact with a friend whom I've known longer than just about anyone else I know. My mother and I were walking past the City Courthouse, heading into Downtown to look for new shoes for her. On the Courtyard grass we could see a photography session occurring, two behind a camera and one on the steps of the courthouse. My mom turned to me, and pointed at the lady on the steps being photographed. She says, "I feel like I should know who that is, but I don't!" One of the photographers then leaves the tripod, and comes running over to us, yelling, "It's Nikki! It's Nikki! I cut my hair!" Neither Mom or I would have recognized her from the distance, but it indeed was Nikki-- my oldest friend and buddy from Kindergarten and Girl Scouts! She looked radiant, as she usually does, and did have the shortest haircut I've ever seen on her. Being Nikki and who she is, the haircut looked beautiful. And so did she. It did my heart a lot of good to see her again, and to finally have a way to communicate with her again. She's working for a news channel in Phx most of the week, and does work in Flag at a radio station part of the week. It was just really, really good to see her. Maybe 2 years have passed since I last saw Nik.
Another recent reunion led me to an old NAU friend, Dawn. In my recent discovery of FaceBook.com, I was typing names into the search browswer as I thought of them. (Being a nerd, pretty much!) Dawn's married name came up, and I quickly sent her a note. (Fortunately, she remembered me!) :) Dawn and I had a few classes together at NAU in the College of Education, and we often walked together after class ended. She graduated a year ahead of me, but we talked through AIM and wrote letters & cards. I remember thinking, the first day I met her, "This is someone that I really want to get to know." Her cheerful outlook, smiles, and constant friendship and positivity were a regular part of that chapter at NAU, and I've missed that over the past few years. Over time, she married the love of her life, and I became pretty consumed with school, and time sort of drifted us apart. While it's not quite the same as a physical reunion (hugs and laughter) with Nikki, my heart still has been deeply warmed as of late, having Dawn back in my life. I am so looking forwards to continuing the friendship I once had with her... Now I have somebody to visit in Tucson! :)
Tomorrow, I head back to my little apartment in Sedona. I'm actually quite nervous about it, as I haven't really spent much time alone this summer. My dog & I have loved being in the cooler temperatures (about 10-15 deg cooler than Sedona) and among the backyard forest of my parents' house. We've enjoyed walks in the woods, accompanied by squirrels. After a few quick errands in town, I'll drive the 45 minutes back to the Village. I will probably go to Big Park (School) on Saturday. It will be the first time I've entered my classroom (to work) in over 2 months. I have a lot of work to do there.
I am reading the book, "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It's wonderful. SO much of what she has written echoes my own thoughts or patterns. I relate to a lot of it, and don't relate at all to parts of it. I enjoy her humor and laughter, as well as her ability to expose the rawest parts of her spirit. (Segment #1 occurs in Italy!) I highly recommend the book...
On this last day of Summer Vacation, I am conflicted by worry and hope, dread and excitement, and failing to find an equilibrium. Tomorrow is a brand-new day, and I am so glad for that.
On this last day of Summer Vacation, I am thankful for:
2. An unexpected and much-needed quick reunion with an old friend
1. The unending encouragement of my family
Buona Notte!
